think too much

haha...after a long long heart to heart talk with my bestie--tan shu
i know myself well..
and yea...she did remind me that i m thinking too much..
and she did tell me the truth that i m only need a companion to fulfill my loneliness..
i m not really need a boyfriend because i din falling in anyone at the moment...
and since u r not my cup of tea...
but i think..if
we r fated to be together, the fate will make us to be....
thus, i dont have to think too much on how to make it on.. and
i dont have to waste my time to get u in...

whatever la..

now i m enjoying my life...
i m enjoy the precious moments with my bestie..
i m enjoy the precious moments with my lovely family in taiping..
i m enjoy enjoy enjoy...
since my time has been occupied since i m in taiping...
hence, i have no free time to think about u...
again...
it has proved that i will only think about u when i m alone...
because of loneliness..
i m only need someone to accompany to fetch me here and there when i m alone in kl
i m only need someone to share the happiness and sadness with me when i m alone in kl
i m only need someone to share all the good things with me when i m alone in kl

i m only need someone when i m alone in kl

how pity i m.!!!
how lonely i m!!!
i just need someone when i m alone!!!!

i dont have such strong feeling anymore...
because i know what i m expected!!!

kk...its time to sleep well from now on...
no more insomnia night..because i m finally release from loneliness...

i dont need a relationship to cheer me up right now..
because i m who i m..
even without a relationship..i still have a great time...
i have the bestie around me...
that is more than enough!!!
and yea =)
aza aza fighting angie ho!!!

happy birthday to me

hehe...happy birthday to me...^^
yea..today is my BIG BIG day...
and yea i have an awesome day !!
my birthday is great because it has made up by great people =)
finally, this year i have the chance to celebrate it with my bestie in taiping..
they had made up a great day for me...

i enjoy the moment with them..
because only them can cheer me up
they r never fail to cheer me up =) <3

we went to station 1 in taiping sentral to have dinner...
we took lots pic there with the jun jie's DSLR (D90)
*i love D90..freaking love it*
how i wish that i could get it..but it is too expensive for me to get it...
blow the birthday cake there...
i like the cake... it is nice!! <3

after that, we went to cheong K!!
hehe...
i like the cheong k section the most!!
because i will never find another best mate that have the same taste as me....
we used to cheong all those classical songs, cantonese songs, hot songs......\
only with them, i can enjoy the most !!
because i can only be myself and sing as loud as i can!!

thanks vivi, huangmei, vivi's bro (zhihui), hotduck, junjie,and angkaryee...
hehe...but leave out the chinwaiwai...
haha....
thanks for made a great birthday for me...
ur wish and ur existence really means a lot to me...
i will appreciate and heart it always <3 <3 <3
thanks thanks thanks =)

insomnia

i m suffering from INSOMNIA

my body is tired but my brain is still fresh...
hence, it cant control my body to fall asleep...

how????
i m freaking tired now....very!!!!
2moro i have to wake up early to work..
now is 530am...
means that i left only 3 hours to rest...
but, my body or brain is never follow my instruction!!!

any way can cure the insomnia??
or any idea to help me ???

i did play the soft music, drink milk.........
but i never keep my mind clean...............
gosh gosh gosh !!!

insomnia is suck !!!
i m super tired!!!!
body body brain brain brain...
pls let me sleep okkokokokkookokooK??????

happy birthday

do u know or remember when is my birthday??

i wont blame anyone for forget it...
because i also never remember anyone birthday except my bestie...

next tuesday is 629...
629 is my birthday........
i din looking forward for it...
because i think i should not expect any celebration...

times fly...
how many decade i have passed or wasted?

next tuesday is gonna be the second decade of my life.

any plan for me to celebrate it??

at first, i wish to rush back taiping to celebrate it with my bestie...
but now...
i think i should drop this idea....
since, they r facing their own domestic problems...

i think, even i m back...
they will not happy and celebrate it sincere with me.....
thus, cancel plan 1!
but, i wonder another bestie free or not??
even we know each others for many years..
but we never celebrate birthday together....

secondly, i wish to celebrate it with my family..
but sigh....=(
i m quarreling with them recently... 
we r having the cold war.....
hence, second plan is also fail!!!!

lastly, i wish i will have a official 1st date with him..
but, am i think too much??
yes, i m !!!
we just know each other....
and we only know each other on the surface but not in depth...
even i think i m falling for him...but him??? 
thus, plan 3 also fail!!!!

haiz haiz haiz!!!!
this coming 19th birthday................
stay at home and eat maggi mee la.......
hahahaaha...
or go out alone and celebrate myself........................=(

hence, dont have to wish me happy birthday..
because i think i will never have a happy birthday.....  T_T

boring

i m boring and dying........
during holidays, what can i do to spend it wisely??

1. Shopping
i wanna shopping..but have to save money
hence, no shopping to waste money....
(but, i just spent around RM 200 to shop last week)

2. Swimming
i wanna learn how to swim...
but, i cant find a suitable instructor to teach me..
or any swimming lessons to attend...

3. Dancing
i wanna learn belly dance, ballroom dance, latin.....
but, again....
the fees for the class is very expensive...
and the shoes for it is costly....

gosh gosh gosh....

whatever things i wanna do have to spend money!!
i wanna save money save money save money!!!
i dont want spend money spend money spend money!!!

thus, the only i can do to spend my holidays is

WORKING WORKING WORKING

but, i cant find the suitable jobs with incentive payment...

sigh sigh sigh!!! =(

what to do to spend my holidays???

mix feeling

everyone is in love but i m still single.....what's wrong with me??
am i too picky or too ugly??

recently, feel so lonely and empty..
it might be caused by most the friends surround me are in relationship...
everyone is so sweet with their partners.
i m quite upset with what i see when i m alone to be their light bulb there...

i wish to get a boyfriend to accompany when i m lonely..
to go everywhere with me.
to share every good things with me..
to experience every precious moments together...

i never expect too much on the qualification of him...
but y cant i get a MR. RIGHT??

i just need a boyfriend to make me happy...
or
i just want the feeling of falling in love..
or
i just need a boyfriend to fetch me here and there
or
i just need somebody to go through everything with me


am i expect too much from a boyfriend??
if i din, please tell me y i m still single??
gosh!!
i wanna fall in love..
i dont want to be lonely anymore !!!
i wanna tell the world that i m in LOVE <3
gosh gosh gosh!!!
boy boy boy
please come and love me heart me sayang me <3

result

finally, result is out!!
after a long long wait...
sigh...
i m so sad with the bad result!!
expectation will always lead to disappointed!
even i did put in HARD EFFORTs...
but..
i still din get what i m desired!

for others..
they might think i should be happy with my results....
but...that is not good enough for me...

i wish to rise up my cgpa with the result of this sem...
even it did but still haven reach my expectation!!
sigh!!
how???
next sem is getting tough........

whatever !!
aza aza fighting for next sem!! =)

holidays~~ING~~~

finally i m having my holidays..
but seem like i never enjoy it!
during school days, i wish i will have some break..
but, during my break...i have nothing to do....

VERY BORING !!!

i seem like never enjoy the moments in my life... sigh....
i hate the time to get back college.cause i dont want to see those pussy face!
i hate the holidays with nothing to do...cause i dont want just stay at home every home with doing nothing..


but..for this sem break...i think i ad spent it wisely...
i did went back hometown to meet up my family..
but sigh... i just spent 2 days there...
and sad...
i have no time to meet up my bestie... =(
vivi...huang mei mei...wai wai... sorry for do not have time to meet... =(
*wish end of this year we can travel to somewhere together*
really appreciate the moments we spent together...
only with u guys..can let feel the sense of togetherness..
only u guys can know me well and make me warm....
hence, looking forward for the trip!!!
dont FFK!!!!otherwise...hehehhe

lately, i m busy working around...everyday have to work...
freaking tired...and meaningless...
walk\stand\smile\talk.....
that is my job scope for the jobs!
bored and meaningless!!!
sigh!!
nvm!! think about the $$
then  i will get my inspiration to work!
aza aza fighting =)

holidays

i m looking forward for my holidays...
finally..this sem will be end soon. but assignment is killing me now...
i leave only 2 assignments to go...
but this 2 r the super tough and heaviest assignment throughout this sem
which r 2 research papers...
1 is talking about the alcohol advertising..
another 1 is talking about the green tea and health.
i have to do lots research to complete these assignments..
and i learn a lot from these assignments..

For the green tea and health assignment... 
i did an interview with an tea expert...
i learn the proper tea ceremony and how the quality of tea will be affected..
even with the different tea set to make tea...
different kinds of tea pot will also make the taste of the tea to be nicer or worse.........
i will continue this in the upcoming post...

Well, this post actually is for  my thought now....
holiday is coming...
and finally i can give myself a good good rest...
i can sleep soundly finally..
i can do everything without stress..
i can escape from the "hell" and go back to the "heaven"
i can avoid to be in the "fake" phenomena...
and i can be myself...

I m tired with this kind of college life...
I m exhausted!!! 
college life is a disaster for me...
i m full of hatred for the college life...
everyone seem like enjoying their college life...
but i m the exclusive!!
i wonder y and dunno y ...
but..its fine....
i dont have to enjoy it because i hate it!!

pffffff~~~~~~~~~
take a deep breathe....
holiday is coming...
i will go back my place...
i wish to have a heart to heart conversation with my heart friends...
only them will understand me..~i bet~
only them can feel me and heart me always..
no matter who i am..
no matter where i am...
no matter what....
they r always heart me, listen to me, care about me and & <3 me

this is only known as 'TRUE" friends...
i miss them....
i love them
i heart them
*tears r dropping*

besides them, i cant find anyone that can replace their position in my heart....
only with them, i can disclosure myself and be myself...
only they know who r them and who am i !!!

i dont have to mention their names because they know i m talking about them....
u will never know who r them since u never care about me........
i & <3 u so much.......*u know who r u* hehehhee

pending post

i m sorry for lack update...
but i think is ok right?? cause my blog sont have much readers...
even i din update is alright....
hahaha....
i din update for such a long time because of my hectic life..
i got tons of pending post
but have no time to post them up!!

BUT...

STAY TUNED!!! 

my blog will be update soon....

SECRET DIARY

hi..guys..i m blogging again!!
i think there is approximately half year (6 months) that i din blogging..
i stop blogging because of STRESS!!
the stress for assignments, exams, expert blogger that surrounding me....
are blocking my way for BLOG!!
BUT, start from today onwards!  i must blog everyday to write down every single things in my daily life
or my thought or my feel for the day..

This blog is just like my DIARY..
i m using blog or the words to express my thought!
Hence, i name this blog as "SECRET DIARY"

Hence, from now on..
i must blog everyday(perhaps??)
to express my thought and my feeling of that day..
so..stay tuned with my blog!!
thanks. =)